Thursday, August 23, 2012

The True Life Story of a High Myope

By Tom the Hungarian

My name is Tom and I am 40 years old and I high myope who also adores women with glasses. I was born in an Eastern European country but I live in the USA now and I am an American citizen.
I started wearing glasses when I was 11 years old but I needed them before. I did not want to wear glasses in the worst way. I considered it a major catastrophe. It did not fit in with my macho self-image. My heroes in the movies, in sports, in history were certainly NOT bespectacled nerds! I noticed, of course, that I had visual problems and that my friends could see things in the distance which I couldn't. But I went into a mode of self-denial. I came up with all kinds of unrealistic explanations such as "I have a cold which may affect my eyes" of "it's just one of those things". It came to a head with a little incident at the bus stop where I was waiting together with a well-dressed lady of maybe 40.
At a distance, a bus was coming toward us when the woman turned to me and asked what number bus it was. "I'm a little nearsighted," - she said explaining her question. I looked but was quite unable to make out the number, it was a blur. I knew that there were only two buses running on this route and I had 50% chance of guessing right, so I said it was a No.8. Then I continued watching straining my eyes and hoping that I had guessed right. In a few minutes, however, the woman exclaimed, "But it's a No.6!" I only saw that she was right a few seconds later. "You need glasses," - the woman said to me - "you better tell your mother to have your eyes tested."
It was an upsetting experience and, of course the last thing I wanted to do was to tell my parents. I did look in the Encyclopedia, however, under 'human eyes'. I found a reference to 'myopia' or nearsightedness and other refractive problems. The first one I checked was myopia. As soon as I started reading the article, I knew that I found the diagnosis: I could see near things very clearly but distant objects were blurred. I hated everything I read. there was no cure for myopia, you had to wear glasses but all they did was take care of the symptoms, not only would my nearsightedness not improve but the chances were it would get worse, especially during the teen years.
I had an idea for double checking this. I remembered my step father (he married my mom recently) tell the story as to how he went to an opticians' store (this was done in my country) and got glasses for seeing better in the movies and for driving. They gave him an Rx of -2. He developed bad headaches and, finally consulted a doctor who discovered that the lenses were much too strong. His real prescription was -0.5 only. I searched my parents bedroom while they were gone and found 2 pairs of glasses the drawer of his bedside table. I tried on the one and it was that amazing experience when a myope looks through glasses for the first time. Everything was sharp, clear and a little smaller. So that was it! I was nearsighted! I tried the other pair which helped my eyesight only a little. So I realized that -2 was a better prescription for me. I even tried both pairs on together and that was even better. So it seemed my true Rx was around -2.5. I had worse eyes than my step dad. I immediately decided not to do anything about it, not to mention it to my parents.
It was summer and there was a girl, Agnes, a year or so younger with whom I used to spend time at the neighborhood swimming pool. She appeared one day wearing glasses and I found her VERY attractive. When she went swimming, she took them off. I went in to swim with her but got out of the pool well before she was ready to do so and tried them on. I could, of course, see quite well with the. I amused myself with her specs and didn't notice that she had gotten out and she caught me wearing her glasses. She asked me if I could see with them and I denied it.
 "You can so!" - she replied. - "You are lying. You are nearsighted."
 "I am not! What makes you say that?"
 "Because I saw how you squint when trying to see something in the distance."
 She took her glasses back and then pointed to a clock on the wall of a building and asked if I could tell the time. I was not able to make out the clock so I just exclaimed,
 "Just stop testing my eyes!" - and I walked away.
That fall, however, my Mom decided to take me for an eye test. 

I do not know why my Mother decided at that particular time to have my eyes tested. Did she notice my continuous squinting? Or did she just decide that at the age of 11 it was time to do so? I have no idea. I vigorously protested against it and argued that it was a waste of time and that there was nothing wrong with my eyesight, but it was in vain. She dragged me along kicking and screaming. Mother knew Dr.Waldman, the ophthalmologist personally. So after we were admitted to his office, the two of them got involved in a long conversation about people I did not know, which gave me the opportunity to look over his equipment. There was, of course, a chair with all kinds of instrument attached and, facing it, the thing I feared most, the eye chart. I walked around and, standing near the chair where I assumed I was going to be sitting for the examination, I looked at the chart. To my horror, I could not read any of it, not even the largest letters on top. I had no idea what else the doctor would do to test my eyes. I had no idea whether there were objective, instrumental tests to diagnose myopia or whether they relied entirely on my ability to read the letters on the chart. I decided to try to memorize the chart. I did not have time to learn the whole thing and could not tell how far down someone with "normal" vision could read it. So, I did the four top lines at which point the conversation with my Mother came to an end and Dr. Waldman asked me to sit in the chair.
He asked me if I had any eye or vision problems which I denied. Then he took one of his little instruments with a light attached and started looking into my eyes. Almost immediately he said,
 "Oh, I see that you are a little nearsighted." Well, that told me that myopia could indeed be diagnosed with instruments. I also knew now that glasses were inevitable for me. He did say "a little" so I hoped I would not need very thick lenses and would not have to wear the specs all the time. After the instrumental examination was finished, Dr. Waldmann said that he could see nothing else wrong with my eyes. He, then, covered one eye and had me read the letters with the other. I pretended that I could read the four top lines but once I got beyond those, of course, I had to admit failure. I immediately found out that I should have been able to read well beyond them for my Mother gasped in dismay at my inability to see the letters below the fourth line. Dr. Waldmann placed a lens in front of my eye and the image immediately became sharper and clearer just like when I tried my stepfather's glasses. He went on trying various lenses, some were a little better, others a little worse. Finally he established the right prescription for both eyes and then he explained, addressing his words far more to my Mother than to me.
 "This young man is actually quite nearsighted. I'm surprised he didn't have trouble at school and movies. He would need a prescription of -2.5 for the right and - 3.25 for the left eye and he also has a little astigmatism in the left eye. I don't want to give him full correction prescription now. I will give him - 2.0 and - 2.75, to make it easier to get used to them. Such relatively strong prescription to start with might give him problems. He will have about 20/30 vision which is quite adequate. I want him back here in 6 months and then we'll increase the strength of lenses to give him full correction and 20/20 vision."
He then explained to us what astigmatism was. Answering Mother's questions he told her - - I already knew this from reading the encyclopedia - that my myopia will never improve and I would have to wear glasses for the rest of my life. He also said that my myopia was likely to get worse, especially during the years of adolescence which seemed to me a horrendous prospect indeed! When Mother asked if I needed to wear them constantly, he said that once I got used to them, I would want to do so, a statement I very much doubted. He also said that he strongly recommended using them, so I get used to wearing spectacles.
The walk from the doctor's office to the opticians was unpleasant and embarrassing. Mother kept testing my eyes. She kept asking if I could read shop signs on the far side of the street or the names of streets and, of course I could not. In the optician's shop we selected the frames which did not take long since price was practically the sole consideration allowed by Mother. The optician, very attractive young woman in her mid twenties, who wore glasses in a fashionably styled frame, was surprised at the strength of my prescription and asked if these were my first glasses. Mother did not let me answer and said.
 "He was walking around blind all this time! I just don't understand." The optician answered with a slightly ironical smile.
 "Sometimes young men don't want to wear glasses. Vanity is not just a female weakness. But I strongly recommend you wear them now because otherwise your eyes will get a lot worse."
 I found it an embarrassing conversation altogether. Her statement was accepted by my Mother and me as gospel truth even though I now know that wearing glasses has little or no effect on the development of myopia. It took a while for her to do the measurements and Mother got impatient. She paid and left the shop telling me to follow her home. The woman said to me,
 "You know, Tom, wearing glasses isn't that bad a thing. I, too, was upset when I first had to do it but it's so wonderful to see clearly."
 "Are you, too, nearsighted?"
 "Yes. I have about the same strength lenses as your prescription. Would you like to try them?"
 I nodded and she handed me her glasses. I could not see well with them and said so.
 "That's because of my astigmatism which is a lot worse than yours and distorts things for you."
 In those days, in Hungary, glasses were not made the same day and I had to return to the opticians to pick them up some three days later. I found a very pretty, blond girl, about my age, sitting and waiting there. I sat down next to her. My interest in girls just started to compete with my interest in soccer but she was VERY pretty indeed. I regretted meeting her in this location, since she would obviously know that I needed glasses. On the other hand why else would she be there?
 "Are you getting specs?" - she asked.
 "Yes, you too?"
 ""They're my first glasses."
 "First for me too. Why do you need them?"
 "I'm nearsighted."
 "Me too."
 At this moment a man in glasses left the backroom and the optician invited the girl, whom she called Eva, to enter. After a while, Eva came out wearing very pretty glasses which - as far as I was concerned made her even more attractive. I went into the backroom the optician said,
 "Here are your glasses, Tom."
 It sounded strange to hear someone saying to me "your glasses". She put them on, took them off, adjusted them and asked how does it feel and put a mirror in front of me. I did not like what I saw there but the glasses seemed comfortable and I told her so. When I left the optician's store, I found Eva in front of it. Looking around in the street almost overcame me. Everything was so clear and sharp, the colors so bright, all the street signs legible and the faces of distant pedestrians visible.
 "I decided to wait for you," - Eva said. - "I wasn't going to wear my specs but this feels so great, I have changed my mind. Everything looks so beautiful!"
 I agreed with her. Then she asked me to let her try on my glasses. I was not keen on this idea because I suspected my lenses may be stronger but I could find no reason not to agree. So, we exchanged glasses and each tried on the other's. I could not see well with hers, in fact, they only improved my vision a little. She exclaimed,
 "My goodness, yours are real strong!"
 We both had our prescription which the optician returned to us and compared. Hers was just -1.0 and -1.5 and no astigmatism. We walked home together when it turned out that her apartment was almost next door to mine and this was the beginning of a lasting friendship even though she was almost a year older than me.
 In spite of Dr. Waldman's prediction, I did not wear my glasses. I might put them on in the movies after the room went dark and I had to wear them at home because Mother insisted on it. I felt guilty about not wearing them but my vanity prevailed.
 Six months later Mother took me back to the doctor. He told me to sit in the examination chair which surprised me and I said I thought he would just increase the strength of my lenses by half a diopter.
 "Well, while I have you here, I might as well look," - he answered. We went through the routine. When he finished, he said.
 "You see, Tom, it was worth while to test your eyes again. There was a change. I will increase the strength of your lenses by a full diopter instead of just a half."
 So I ended up with -3.0 and -3.75, rather strong Rx for one who did not wear glasses six months earlier. 

We returned to the same optician's store with the new prescription and the good-looking optician lady was surprised at the large increase after so short a time. I explained to her, however, that my doctor did not give me full correction the first time and that this was all according to plans. I did not tell her that he had to add a whole diopter rather than just the planned half diopter. Mother - always trying to cut costs - wanted her to replace the lenses in my old frame. The optician disagreed. "With an Rx as strong as your son's, I don't recommend that. It would mean that he would be without glasses for three days which may be hard on him. Also you can always use the old pair as a reserve which would be wise to have."
So she got me another cheap and ugly frame.
The worsening of my vision had no bearing on my behavior. I continued my refusal to wear glasses unless circumstances forced me to do so. I basically only wore my glasses when I was with my Mother or in the movies. Even Eva did not know for quite a while about my stronger lenses. We were close friends by this time and often went to the movies together but I made sure she did not see me with my specs when the lights were on in the theater. She, on the other hand always wore her glasses because seeing clearly was her high priority. One day she came over to our apartment unexpectedly without wearing glasses. She explained that she broke them and it would take a couple of days to fix the frame. Her problem was that she was planning to go out with her girlfriends to see a high school tennis tournament and now she was without them, I expressed the opinion that her eyes were not bad enough to cause her a major hardship but she disagreed. In fact, she wanted to borrow my glasses for the afternoon since I did not wear them anyway. I did not want to lend them to her because I did not want her to know how bad my eyes had become and reminded her that my lenses were too strong for her. She answered, however, that she could see quite well with them when she tried them on the day we got our first glasses. Eventually I ran out of excuses and handed them over. She tried them on but took them off immediately with the exclamation:
 "My, God, what happened? These are much too strong for me, I can't see a thing with them!"
I explained to her about my new lenses. She was quite upset about my eyes getting so much worse and her sympathy was a little awkward for me to take.
My parents were invited to new business friends who lived in a posh neighborhood, on the far side of the river, up in the hills, in a house with a large garden. We were to visit them for the afternoon and stay for dinner. I was told that they had a daughter about my age. With Mother present I had to wear my glasses, of course. The daughter, Kate, was not a very pretty girl, she was tall with quite large breasts for her age (I liked those!) and she was bit overweight. She had a tremendous bush of curly, untidy jet-black hair on her head, her arms and legs were hairy and she had a little moustache. Her eyes were black too and she wore glasses. By this time I could, of course, tell that the lenses were concave and, therefore, she was nearsighted. Kate turned out to be far better company than I thought at first sight. She was friendly and talkative and soon brought up the subject of glasses which interested me a great deal. She complained bitterly about having to wear them, said the boys often teased her and nobody wanted to date her, She was a little older than I, past thirteen and was already very interested in boys.
 "You're nearsighted too, aren't you?" - she asked. - "How strong are your lenses?"
 I told her and asked about hers.
 "Pretty close to yours. -3.5 both eyes, just in between the Rx's of your two eyes."
 We tried each other's glasses and found the difference quite insignificant. Kate was an interesting and unusual girl who talked openly about things I did not expect a girl to speak about with a guy. She told me that her periods have just started and that she has been masturbating for some time now. I turned red at these confessions and could not bring myself to admit that I, too, had started masturbating. I ended up liking her a lot and feeling sorry that they lived so far from us and there were no opportunities to get to know her real well. I told Eva about this conversation but she refused to discuss periods or masturbation with me and got angry when I persisted. I did find out a month or two later that her periods had also started. This happened one day when she was at our apartment and suddenly rushed to talk to my Mother. They whispered together and disappeared for a few minutes in the bathroom. Mother emerged with a suppressed grin on her face and Eva followed her a little later. I figured what had happened: her period made an unexpected appearance and she needed the help of an experienced woman.
As time went on, I realized that my eyes were getting worse again. I had figured out some time earlier that I could improve my vision by squinting or by pulling at the corners of my eyes and narrowing them that way (I referred to this maneuver as "chinese eyes") and I needed to resort to those actions more and more often. But I also noticed that I was seeing less well with my glasses and found that I could help by tilting the glasses or by pushing them close to my eyes or lifting them so that I was looking through the bottom part of the lens.
A year went by, I was twelve and a half year old and the time came for my yearly eye test. I hoped that Mother would forget because I did not want to have to wear stronger lenses which I knew would certainly be the result of the examination. But she did not forget and the visit to Dr. Waldmann was a major disaster. My eyes had gone very much worse in just a year. Even the doctor said,
 "That's quite a jump! But not to worry, it happens during the teen years. When you grow rapidly - and you have grown rapidly this year - your myopia sometimes increases rapidly too."
 My Rx was - horror of horrors - no less than -5.0 and -6.0. I now has astigmatism in both eyes and that got worse too.
 I still refused to wear glasses although it was getting harder to avoid it. I did not recognize people from any distance. I had to try remembering what people wore in the class room or wherever I was in the company of a group, so that I could recognize them without being able to distinguish their facial features. I could no longer see the blackboard even with squinting or "chinese eyes". A few weeks after I got my new glasses Eva told me that she had her eyes tested and also needed stronger lenses. When she told me that her RX went up to -1.25 and -1.75 I was ready for a bitter laugh; stronger lenses ha ha! She discovered my guilty secret one day when she was visiting me. I had left my glasses on my desk. I went to the bathroom for a moment and, while I was out of the room, Eva found them and tried them on. When I came back she asked me,
 "Whose glasses are these?"
 "They can't be!"
 "They are terribly strong! These lenses are quite thick. I can't see a thing with them!"
 When I, finally and sadly, convinced her that those were my glasses, indeed, she got really upset and insisted that I must start wearing them. I argued with her.
 "But it's not safe! You'll be hit by a car you don't see!"
 Her arguments did not convince me but I was getting concerned about how long I would be able continue not wearing glasses especially if my eyes continued weakening.
 The next time I saw Kate, I immediately noticed that she wore new glasses. I thought they were not very well chosen: a heavy black frame which made her face quite masculine. Too much black was my opinion. "You have new glasses?" - I asked her.
 "O, you can tell?" - she sounded quite upset. - Can you tell the lenses are thicker? Is it that noticeable?"
 It was not, of course. What I noticed was the new frame and I was able to relieve her mind on that account. Nevertheless, her voice was quite plaintive when she told me that her Rx went up to -4.0. She, then, asked me if I had my eyes tested. I answered in the affirmative and she wanted to try them. We exchanged glasses but she was appalled by mine.
 "My God, Tom, you are going blind! I can hardly see anything with your left lens, it's so strong!"
As the months went by, I experienced, once again, all the symptoms of my vision getting worse. In a way I was almost relieved when the year was up and I found myself again visiting Dr. Waldmann. The test results were bad again. Rx up to 6.5 for the right eye and 7.75 for the left. My vision deteriorated so fast that by the time I reached my fourteenth birthday, I was again in the position of not being able to see well with my current lenses. I was walking around in dense fog all the time. Eva suggested, I tell my Mom and have her take me to Dr. Waldmann ahead of time. "Give yourself a birthday present," - she said. A close friend of my at school also spoke to me.
 "Tom, you really need glasses!"
 "Why do you say that?"
 "Not only do you squint all the time but when you read your nose practically touches the page in the book!"
He was right. With my increasing myopia and astigmatism, I could see with clarity no further than about 12 centimeters, less than 5 inches. I started shaving although not yet daily, and this was a torture without my glasses for I had to look into the mirror from a distance of only 6 centimeters or 2.5 inches. Putting on my glasses was easier even if I got the soap on them and had to wash them after shaving. Anyway, I gave in, talked to my Mother and shortly after my fourteenth birthday the strength of my lenses was upped to -7.5 and -8.75 the left. From then on, I started wearing glasses regularly. The kids in my class were amazed to see me with such thick lenses and I got a fair amount of teasing. It was a period filled with embarrassments for me. The kids at school all wanted to try my thick glasses and then called me blind and told me they could not see anything with it. Others wondered how I managed without glasses. The guys who wore glasses wanted to try each other's and all of them said they were amazed I could survive without using glasses. Sometimes I wondered myself. It was very awkward to find out that I had the strongest lenses in the class. Even some of my friends' parents wondered. My eyes, in the meantime, continued downhill. At fifteen my Rx was up to -9.0 and -10.5 and Dr. Waldmann made me wear bifocals with plus 1.5 Rx., in the hope it will slow down my myopia. That was another cause of embarrassment. It made my glasses even uglier. The bifocals did not seem to have an effect and at sixteen I went up to -10.0 and -12.0. It was at this point when Dr. Waldman sent me to a specialist in high myopia but at that point the new doctor just confirmed everything Waldmann had done, including the bifocals.
My visit to the specialist's office was not, however, wasted. I was sitting there with my mother in the crowded waiting room when a girl came in with her mother. She wore the thickest lenses I ever saw. I could not even imagine her Rx. Through happenstance they sat down next to us and we got in a conversation. Her name was the very Hungarian name Ildiko and she was 18 years old. In spite of my struggle against wearing glasses, I have over the year developed a taste for girls who wore them, perhaps, initially, in the hope that they would not mind going out with a bespectacled guy. Later, however, I found it sexually arousing and in my sexual daydreams it was always a girl in specs who was the subject. This girl attracted me enormously. She had dark hair, fine pale skin and full lips with a tiny nose. Her glasses kept slipping down and she pushed them back with an incredibly graceful and charming movement. I could not tell a lot about her eyes because of the monstrous lenses but they seemed light. She was plump with large breasts and a large rear but I favored that anyway. In conversation I told her about my eyes and that I was in the doctor's office for the first time because of the rapid change in my vision. She asked about my Rx. and when I told her she laughed a little.
 "You come to a high myopia specialist with -10 and -12? Well, perhaps you qualify... barely..."
 She then told me that she needed -24 and -26 and I actually experienced a tremendous sexual arousal at hearing these figures. Her corrected vision was also very poor and she had to hold reading material right up to her eyes. Before we were called to the doctor's office I asked for her phone number.
 It was soon after this visit to the new doctor that I went to see Kate and it was also the first time she saw me in my new glasses. She was also upset because she just had the power of her lenses increased to -5.0 which she considered horribly strong and thick. I answered,
 "What are you talking about Kate? What should I say about mine? They really are horribly ugly!"
 At this point came one of my life's greatest and most pleasant surprises. She gave me a big hug and exclaimed,
 "Ugly? Tom, how can you say that? I love your glasses! They get me real hot and sexy!"
 Well, to cut a long story short, we ended on her couch together dressed in our glasses and nothing else and I lost my virginity there and then. (She has lost hers at an earlier occasion but I do not know whether the guy she lost it to was a high myope or not.)
Two years went by until I graduated from high school. My Rx. was up to -13.0 and -15.5. Eva was upset about her eyes getting so bad. She was -2.0 and -2.5. Agnes and I had a nice little affair continuing all that time and she had -6.0 when she graduated the same year as I did. But my real love was Ildiko. She was very shy and timid, never had a boyfriend. I spent a lot of time with her even though she could not participate in many activities. She could not see well enough to go to the movies or a sporting event. We walked a lot together. After almost a year she allowed me to kiss her but I never managed to get her into bed.
Shortly after my graduation from high school, we emigrated to the USA. My English was pretty good because I knew ahead of time about our plans to emigrate and I am good with languages. I went to college, worked a while and then got an MBA in one of the best business schools. Ten years after leaving Hungary, I decided, finally, to visit the old country. My Rx. was -15 and -18 but the days when this bothered me were long gone. I enjoyed being a high myope and enjoyed women who wore glasses, especially high myopes although I did not have the good fortune to meet many of those. After arriving to Budapest, I first looked up Eva. She was married with two children and faithful to her husband. She showed no interest to cheat on him for old times sake. She wore contacts now because she claimed to see better with them but, at my insistent request, she put on her glasses. They were a modest -2.75 and -3.5 now. I looked up Kate. She had 3 children from three different guys and was about to divorce her second husband. She was heftier and larger than when I first knew her. After 3 kids her breasts showed the effects of gravity and her tummy needed control. She wore -7.5. and we spent a couple of wonderful nights together, once again dressed in our glasses only.
Finally, I phoned Ildiko. This was the highpoint of my visit and I was thrilled to hear her voice. She lived alone now and had never been married. She did not want me to visit her in her apartment which, she said, was tiny and poorly equipped for entertainment. So we arranged to meet at one of the City's famous patisseries. She warned me that I would be disappointed with her but refused to explain. All she said "you will see".
I was waiting for Ildiko filled with excitement, fear and expectations. It was a lovely, sunny day in late spring and I was sitting at a little table on the terrace of the patisserie and kept looking around not knowing the direction she would be coming from. Finally, I saw her coming up from the Underground Station next to the patisserie's terrace. It was a shock. She had not really changed that much and I recognized her immediately. She had put on some weight, her breasts and buttocks were fuller but I liked that. What shocked me was that she was using a white cane as she walked slowly. Did she become blind? I jumped up and ran to meet her calling out her name as I approached. She looked up and I knew from the way she did it that she was not blind. But her glasses were incredibly thick. With all my experience with high myope women I never have seen anything like it. Her eyes were virtually invisible behind the tiny, lenticular lenses.
We sat and talked. Her prescription now was the unbelievable -40 and -42. She was legally blind as a result of retinal problems. But she was the old Ildiko and I was still in love with her. We ended up that night in my hotel room. Her glasses excited me to an extent I cannot describe. Before I left Hungary, we were married and not too much later she came to join me in the USA. We have been married now for 12 years and they were 12 years of perfect happiness although not necessarily easy ones. She has never lost her attraction for me. She is now blind as a result of further retinal detachments. We have two wonderful children, both high myopes. Andrew is 10 with Rx of -12.0 and -13.5. Joan is 8 with -17.5 and -22. We sometimes joke and say that she will beat her mother's record in strength of lenses. We are all very happy.

No comments:

Post a Comment