At the edge of the town, on top of a hill, was an old abandoned warehouse. It had been derelict and empty for years, but suddenly activity buzzed around it as it was renovated. No one knew what it was being turned into. Curious townies questioned the constuction workers, but they denied any knowledge of the true purpose of the warehouse. No one had told them anything. A year later, renovations were complete and the place was quiet once more. The gates were always firmly closed, so everyone was still in the dark about its purpose.
At this juncture it should be explained that although some men in the Scottish Highlands are accustomed to wear kilts, they certainly don't parade around in mini skirts. Nor do they wear fishnet stockings and stiletto heels. Nor do they sport racy lacy black and red bras with a couple of false boobs stuffed into them.
Naomi's heels click-clacked furiously up to the gates of the old warehouse. The doorman raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He'd seen people coming and going in strange thick glasses, but he'd never seen anything quite as odd as Naomi.
"I demand to see the boss," snapped Naomi.
"Do you have an invitation - errr - sir - or do you prefer to be called madam?" asked the doorman, obviously at a loss.
Naomi had no invitation, but proffered an Eyescene membership card instead. When this failed to impress the doorman, he offered more and more Eyescene membership cards - each one with a different name. When this failed - he began exhibiting multiple personalities - possibly even more personalities than he had membership cards. In the end the doorman was obliged to call security.
"One of the processes you're using to stimulate the development of myopia," barked Naomi, "belongs to me!"
"Do you have proof of that?" asked the Boss.
"I sure do," huffed Naomi, shoving a short story across the desktop. A section of the text had been highlighted and the Boss perused it.
"Uh-huh," said the Boss at length, "I think if you read your own words a bit more carefully, and then take a good look at our process, you'll see that there are certain differences."
Naomi was led into a darkened room, where it cannot be related what he saw of the process, in case it leads to accusations of plagiarism. Suffice to say, he saw the light! He also became extremely myopic and although he'd basically gate-crashed the place, he was nevertheless allowed to choose the frames of his dreams. A lovely black and red feminine frame that went very nicely with his racy lacy black and red bra.
Unfortunately the glasses got broken while Naomi was travelling home. There are some rough places around Glasgow where they're not very open minded about guys pretending to be gals.
But it all had a happy ending because this is a work of pure fiction and anything can happen. Nobody had any flame wars or accused anyone of anything. Hey - I could fix it for Naomi to win the Lottery. There you go - wham bam - Ł6 Million for Naomi - and a free visit to that spec-tacular warehouse in Scotland for everyone on Eyescene.